Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Pre School watch out, because Austin is here to take over...

My favorite saying that someone told me as I was a very new mother (and I am so thankful for this) is:
"It never gets easier, it just changes and becomes different."

I am so thankful for this because, I remember secretly thinking, "If he would just sit up... if he could just crawl... If he could just walk" etc...
Always wishing they were bigger, and could do more. (more so with Austin. I wanted nothing more for him to turn one years old. With him being such a small preemie I wanted to know that he was going to be OK and the only way to tell was for them to grow and develop) Only to find, that yes, now he can walk/crawl and get around and isn't as bored, but now I have to wash ALL of my tupperware containers on a daily basis and make sure there isn't anything that is potential danger in sight or reach... not easier just different.

Today, my secret thought came true, he is grown up. He has grown out of the stage of being my baby and into my little boy, my little man. So bitter sweet. I am so happy that he is in the stage he is to be able to be independent and leave me for a few hours a day, and I am so sad for the same reasons. Now I find myself saying "if he would only let me hold him a moment longer... if he would only sit still for a moment longer... if we could only stay in this moment just a while longer..."

As we were driving to his pre school he said. "Now, do I get to stay here for a long time?" I said "Yes" He said " Okay good! And your going to be at home right?" I said "yes" he didn't answer. I started to worry he was going to cry. Then I reminded him of the fun things he was going to learn and about the playground. Last Friday we went to his pre school orientation and they were just finishing up the new playground and Austin said, " If they aren't finished with the playground, we are going to have to talk to someone about that." He was so excited he could hardly stay in his seat. Then his teacher came to the car and took him in and he looked back at me, his eyes asking, if this was okay. I shook my head with a huge grin on my face and my camera snapping pictures, that I couldn't tell were in focus because of the tears in my eyes (I made sure he did not see).

When we picked him up 3 hours later, he saw us waiting our turn in the line of cars and he had a huge smile on his face. Standing just a little taller I could tell he was proud of himself. He got in the car. With his papers that he had done that day, and a little school bus necklace that they made. He said " I almost started crying for you..." Then I said "but then you realized school was so much fun, that you didn't need to cry, huh!" (even though I was secretly happy that he missed me) He looked at me and said "yep!"

Chad called and talked to him, and he told him he learned a spaghetti and roll song, and they learned not to stand on the tables or chairs, and they got to play on the new playground. He sounded so grown up on the phone. Then tonight as I put Austin to bed, he said "Mommy, I love you so much!! will you stay in here for 2 songs (they listen to the baby einsteins CD's as they are falling asleep)?" I said " I love you so much too, and Yes." So maybe not quite grown up, still my baby just in a little boy body.


Before we left our house

waiting to be picked up by his teacher

My picture to prove to Chad I didn't have a nervous breakdown, just a teary eyed mess.

Getting picked up on his first day.

So happy and proud of himself

3 comments:

Casey and Diana said...

oh my heck Kristen I cried the whole freakin time I was reading that!! I feel so silly! I think it's because I hate to think of the time when I have to take my little Preston to school...yes I realize it's 4 years away! and also because I'm so proud of Austin for making it through his first day!! You're such an awesome example of what kind of mom I want to be. Thank you! Yay you two for doing the first day of school!

The Morgan Family said...

I know how you feel--exactly! It was easier to let Abbey go to K this year than it was when Emma went. But I still have to wait at the school, just to see them walk in. I am at a hard time in life, when I feel I am losing my oldest. We clash! Every day! It is so hard. I just can't seem to get my little girl back, and it is soooo hard. I guess I am not letting her grow up and make her own decisions--and mistakes. I just still want to tell her everything she should do and she HATES it. We argue and yell and I am trying desperately to figure out how to change as a Mom of toddlers and little ones to Mom of a blossoming young woman. I know it seems to early to say that but I truly believe kids are hitting adult milestones earlier and earlier these days.

"Henaos" said...

Oh my gosh! I have 4 kids and I cried with every single one of them!! They grow up so fast! The little necklace it is such a good idea!!I love it!! It is such a huge step for both of you!! GOOD JOB!!!